ROLE REVERSAL

At a clinic for changing one’s sex,
a young woman ran into her ex.
        Now he was a “she”,
        and she was a “he”
their reactions were strong — and complex.

Mary E. Moore
Appalling Limericks
Virtes, Cox & Newman, Eds.,
Sam’s Dot Publishing, 2007

 

 

 

UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES

To make his own smelling sense keen,
a man tried a Rottweiler gene.
        The experiment failed
        and he ended up jailed
for humping each bitch that he’d seen.

Mary E. Moore
Appalling Limericks
Virtes, Cox, & Newman, Eds.,
Sam’s Dot Publishing, 2007

 

 

 

DOCTOR DOLITTLE

An old plastic-type surgeon unknown
had a practice which hardly had grown.
        For his lack of success,
        he offered a guess:
“I just leave good enough quite alone.”

Mary E. Moore

 

 

 

 

RESTRICTED DIET

Failing diets, the youth was obese
But his mother was chief of police.
        She put him in jail,
        Saying, “Here is a scale.
Losing fifty will win your release.”

Mary E. Moore
Brightwater Limericks
First Prize,
Food and Diet Limerick Contest,
July, 2006

 

 

 

LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING

I loved burgers with cheese as a boy.
Chocolate milk ane ice cream were pure joy.
        Now I’ve changed what I eat.
        It may look like I cheat . . .
But they’re substitutes made out of soy.

Mary E. Moore
Brightwater Limericks
Honorable Mention,
Food and Diet Limerick Contest,
July, 2006

 

 

 

CELEBRATED ATHLETE

There are champs on the diamond or court,
on the course, or on fields of some sort.
        But I am no slouch
        on the livingroom couch
at the time-honored indoor-type sport.

Mary E. Moore
Brightwater Limericks
Finalist, Sports Limerick Contest, August, 2006
Feature Article, Richard Harrison
Venice Gondolier Sun, Sept 24, 2006

 

 

 

GOOD SPORTS?

In the past, winning athletes drew cheers
and the losers could tolerate jeers.
        But now Little Leagues flower
        and if their prospects sour,
little losers may burst into tears.

Mary E. Moore
Brightwater Limericks Audio
January, 2007

 

 

 

POTENTIALLY A PROBLEM

Loving mothers may harbour a flaw
whose expression can render nerves raw.
        When their children date
        and locate a mate,
“Mother, dear ” becomes “Mother-in-law”.

Mary E. Moore
Brightwater Limericks Audio
January, 2007

 

 

 

CHANGING TIMES

Separation, annulment, divorce:
are today simply matters of course.
        Wedding vows should be changed,
        and the words rearranged
to "till whim us do part." Cuts remorse.

Mary E. Moore
Brightwater Limericks
First Prize,
Family Limerick Contest,
September, 2006

 

 

 

PRESIDENT BUSH ON THE IRAQ WAR

He said, “Mission Acomplished!” before.
Later, “Making good progress” galore.
        All Bush’s conclusions
        are downright delusions.
Now, “It’s hardly a real civil war.”

Mary E. Moore
Brightwater Limericks
2nd Prize, Politics Limerick Contest, Oct., 2006
Bush Limericks Contest,
A 2nd Prize, November, 2006

 

 

 

 

 

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